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Bad Reputation

Psst!  Hey!  Hello!  Down here, on the ground!
I know I am quiet, barely making a sound.
But please, won't you stop and give me your ear?
I have quite the account I think you should hear.

You don't understand, to be a snake is hard work,
When you have the reputation of being a jerk.
From the Garden of Eden, and Adam and Eve
To the cause of Cleopatra's subjects to grieve.

In "Harry Potter" the evil has us as the root,
St. Patrick is loved because he gave us the boot.
It's not just, it's not fair, and this is a fact.
But to change other's minds, against us cards are stacked.

On top of all that, we must slither around
Without legs or feet, bellies on the ground.
Low to the earth, we must keep alert
That we are not stepped on or otherwise hurt.

Some of us are large with muscles that constrict.
Some of us do have venom, with a bite, to inflict.
But me? I'm just a small, harmless garter snake,
Easily fended off with a hand or a rake.

It's unfair, I tell you!  I have only one trick.
If I sit still enough, I can look like a stick.
You're not that impressed, I can tell by your face.
But we snakes don't deserve this badge of disgrace.

Why people hate snakes, I know not, I confess.
But I honestly say this can cause much distress.
If you took time to know us, you'd be in for a treat-
Despite bitterness for lacking legs, knees and feet.

Pythons are cheerful, Rattlers-great musicians.
Cottonmouths are outgoing, Asps have great ambitions.
The eyelash viper is quite the flirt.
Mud Snakes?  Artistes in the medium of dirt.

Coral Snakes are quite helpful, if you'd ever inquired.
And Sidewinders' dancing should be much admired.
Boas are cerebral, with jokes citing Freud.
But Cobras are jerks, I recommend you avoid.

Despite our afflictions, we do try to manage,
Though they put us at a great disadvantage.
I'll know not satisfaction from scratching an itch,
I'll never learn how to sew, not even one stitch.

I cannot hail a taxi, and cannot play the flute.
I can't learn sign language if I quickly go mute.
I cannot tie a shoe-not a boot nor a cleat
(But I guess that's ok since I do not have feet).

I've no idea what it's like to feel proud, walking tall.
I can't run down the court and play basketball.
The lack of all limbs makes my poor heart just ache.
So can't you be kind and give us a break?

Snakes have been here for ages, I guess it's our fate
To play the bad guys, and endure all the hate.
But of all the injustices, what I most deplore?
I'll never know how it feels to get a spa pedicure.


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