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The Cat Playbook III-Defending Your Turf

Old Cat and Young Cat, Mentor and Mentee,
Old Cat proud Young Cat earned his cat degree.
He looked after Young Cat as if he were his own
Inside the house that now felt like a home.

Things had settled well and they fell into a groove.
The way they got along, any Pet Dad would approve.
They were very happy, their lives felt so ideal,
Everything fell into place, contentment they did feel.

One day Pet Dad came home and things felt very strange.
Though they did not know just yet, things were gonna change.
Extra bowls came out of bins. And why toy bones abound?
Curiouser things became, and then they heard the sound.

A sharp arf here, and then a yelp-was that a bark as well?
Young Cat was quite unsure, but Old Cat knew the tell.
"This couldn't be, I don't believe Pet Dad would have agreed
To add this yipping, noisy thing to our perfect family!"

Old Cat, full of disbelief, quite frankly felt insulted
Pet Dad would make this choice before they'd been consulted.
No vote, no say, no referendum held that they could veto,
To bring home this ball of fur, vexing as a mean mosquito.

Old Cat said, "No, this won't do, this won't do at all."
While Young Cat looked at him, then at the puppy full of awe.
"Is he so bad, old Cat Dad?  He seems kind of nice."
Old Cat sniffed, "Little you know-hark my sage advice."

"You've learned your other lessons well, now listen carefully.
Dogs and cats don't get along, take this tip from me.
You think he's nice?  All cute and fluff?  You'll see fairly soon
That for the peace we've come to know, this spells out its doom."

"We cats are fussy in our need to be tidy and so clean.
You understand we take great pride in excellent hygiene.
Dogs are messy, dirty things who splash around in mud,
Then come home and put their paws on each and everyone."

"Drool spills out of open mouths, like water out a tap.
He'll take over precious real estate on our Dad's lap.
We need to show him who's the boss, the sooner is the better-
And stay away from that thing's tongue-there's not a thing that's wetter."

So new lessons did begin, to defend their home domain.
Young Cat listened attentively, while Old Cat did explain.
"Ideally we can push him out, show Dad he is unneeded
Since he has us-the perfect pets! We won't stop til he's conceded!"

In a cardboard box from Amazon, the cats began to plot.
An idea came to Old Cat's mind.  The perfect plan, he thought!
Young Cat, impressed, said, "You're so smart!  Sly just like a fox!"
Old Cat replied, "It's a snap!  Just think inside the box!"

 They held their nose and spilled the trash, to get the poor pup blamed.
Surely Dad would see this mess and become quickly inflamed!
They hatched this plan to set Dog up, to hasten his farewell.
But Dad gazed into Puppy's eyes, and fell under his spell.

"It's ok, we'll get this cleaned," to Dog, Dad gently said.
"Well that didn't work," Old Cat spoke, "Let's find something to shred."
They pulled out Dad's best dress shoes, and went to town with claws.
But this failed-damage from nails looks way different than jaws.

After Dad yelled at the cats, they went back to regroup.
They talked next steps, what they could do, and how low they would stoop.
Sly Old Cat to Young Cat said, "Let's lead him right outside.
Then he'll find some other home in which he can reside."

Through the door they led the way, with Pup drooling behind.
He thought his siblings asked to play, which he could not decline.
Glaring hard, Old Cat said "Scat" and "Go away!"
But no matter how loud he hissed, Pup just sat and stayed.

Old Cat scratched his head, deciding what to do-
He waved his paws, he spit and spat, he even yelled out, "Boo!"
But Pup just sat there staring, tail wagging to and fro.
Then inspiration hit and he looked for a stick to throw.

Young Cat watched Old Cat wave the stick in front of Pup.
Then watched as he released it--it flew up and up and up.
But Pup just sat there watching as it flew over the fence.
Old Cat shook his head, and thought, "Boy, this dog is dense."

Old Cat turned to Young Cat, ready to admit defeat,
And Young Cat looked and nodded as they started their retreat.
With a heavy sigh, with young Pup they went in.
Old Cat sadly said, "This is a war we cannot win."

"But we must remain together, keep our majority!
He will learn and bow to our su-purr-iority!
Lay at our paws, this dog will, and follow all our orders!
We will lead, he will respect our rules and all our borders!"

He said this, looked down to see Young Cat was all curled up-
Cuddling with the enemy!  All nestled next to Pup!
Old Cat huffed, threw up his paws, said with all frustration,
"I will never understand this younger generation..."


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