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The Cat Playbook II - The Histories

Old Cat had taught Young Cat about being a kitty-
How to land on all fours, avoiding litter too gritty.
Young Cat was a natural, Old Cat did acknowledge.
Young Cat had an insatiable thirst for new knowledge.

Young Cat asked Old Cat about more education
On the subject of "Cat", as choice occupation.
Old Cat replied, "Since the basics you passed,
Let's study history and step into the past."

So Old Cat took Young Cat on a cultural tour
Filled with data and facts, and sprinkled with lore.
Young Cat sat up, so keen for his lesson.
Old Cat cleared his throat and began the session.

"Way back in Egypt, upon hot sand they trod,
The smartest of cultures revered us as gods.
Cat-headed old deities, to which they'd all bow.
If you ask me, they should still do that now!"

"Ancient Romans were our fans and were our proponents,
But they didn't use us to get rid of their rodents.
We were replaced by weasels-can you believe we were fired?
But soon Rome declined and we were rehired."

"An old Persian tale gets our origins right,
Created from magic, from stars and from light.
In Japan, still today, we are considered good luck,
Guardians of homes and protectors of books."

"The Dark Ages were hard for our kind, it is true, 
Associated with witches, their spells and their brew.
But hard times would pass, and soon near and far,
People would remember how awesome we are."

"Next, to the New World, on ships sent by Kings!
Don't forget, there were rats and mice on those things!"
Young Cat piped up, "We went on the sea?"
"Fear of water's a myth!" scoffed Old Cat with glee.

"In America, they loved us, the cowboys and their cows.
We protected their rations with the fiercest meows!
And as we came into the next century,
The same skill got us hired by the US Army."

"When Queen Victoria made two of us members of court,
Cats as pets in the household became quite the sport.
We were pampered and held in the highest regard!
Dogs were so jealous, made to sleep in the yard."

"We worked in World Wars, as catchers of rats.
Many soldiers and units had mascots of cats.
We're more stealthy than dogs, we made the best spies-
We gathered much intel and saved many lives!"

"Let's go back in time, way back to the 60's,
When some of us cats became quite the hippies.
They sat in for peace, and protested wars
They listened to Hendrix, The Who and The Doors."

"The Seventies Disco cats chased all the dudes
Swatting at goldfish in high platform shoes.
In the 80's the rock bands had big hair all based
On long haired cat styles, showing good taste."

"Today we're as famous as Marie Antoinette-
You looked puzzled, have you not heard of The 'Net?
We're as beloved as ever, have you not seen the memes?
Colonel Meow and Maru, Lil Bub and Pusheen?

"Our invention, The Internet, went exactly to plan!
A wild success!  Now we're stronger than man!
We'd overthrow people!  Not eat their crumbs!
If only we had opposable thumbs..."
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