I wish I could land on my feet like a cat
With hearing as sharp and as keen as a bat!
If I could leap high, as a high as a flea?
There would never be anyone who could ever stop me!
If I could punch like the tough mantis shrimp-
Along with the strength of a big, alpha chimp!
With abilities to self heal, like the snail or starfish-
But it isn't happening, no matter how hard I wish...
I can't camouflage like the shy octopus,
And I can't sense electricity like the rare platypus.
I can't soar or see like the powerful eagle,
And my sense of smell isn't keen like my best friend's beagle.
It's so depressing, so sad, to know I lack features
That it takes to defeat the evil 5th grade teacher...